What I hate about my Job


Patient: I have this severe body pain and headache that won't let me do anything, please give me a good pain killer.


Me: (proceeds to get the "best" analgesic), you have to take this one tablet every 12 hours for 3 days.


Patient: how much is it?


Me: ₦1,000


Patient: Ah, why is it too expensive naa, just ordinary pain killer, please give me paracetamol.


Me: (speaking in my mind) why you no just walk in tell me say paracetamol you wan buy.


2nd scenario:


Patient: Pharm please I want the best antimalarial.


Me: This one is ₦1800


Patient: That's too expensive, give me the one of a lesser price.


Me (proceeds to bring another one)

This one is ₦1,600.


Patient: You don't have the one that the price is lesser than these two.


Me: (brings the cheapest) this one is "dozismartem", it's ₦250.


Patient: Are you sure this one will work, please give me that first one you said it's ₦1,800.


Me: (speaking to myself) What is the colour of your problem this morning?.


I also hate the fact that what I earn is not commensurate with the volume of books I read in school (I practically had no social life back in school and still don't have).


I hate working on Sundays and there are no public holidays because we are termed "essential workers".

Last but not all,


Patient: Please I want to buy "Beecham Ampiclox", two capsules.


Me: Please ma we don't "cut" Ampiclox, do you realise that Ampiclox is an antibiotic and you need to follow the full dosage regimen of one capsule every six hours for five days? that means you need two scahets of ten capsules each, to complete the regimen, this is to completely eradicate the bacteria and also avoid antibiotics resistance.


Patient: Two capsules are enough for me, that's how I take it, you just want to "sell more market", I for no even come here, if to say that chemist for my street don open.


Me: (by this time I'm already weak and have nothing more to say as she jejely goes to look for where they will cut two capsules for her)

And she will definitely see because we are in "competition" with Patent medicine dealers and because our healthcare system is so messed up that the profession is more regulated for the professionals than the quacks in the street, because people can actually buy prescription only medications without a proper prescription in Nigeria and because if you are a pharmacist waiting for a doctor's prescription before you can sell a drug in Nigeria, you go wait tire.

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